Thursday, January 23, 2003  

I am Super Electro-Guy!!!! I have the power to create absurdley large electrical shocks, simply by touching something made of metal!! True, my powers seem to only come out when it is extemely cold, and they really don't affect anyone but myself . . . but no matter! I will devise a way to use my super powers to take over the world (or at least get rid of a few creditors, if you know what I mean)! My ability to harness static electricity will one day do much more than simply render excruciating pain to my fingers every time I touch a doorknob . . . or my car . . . or the railing for my stairs . . . or - well, you get the idea.

My Super-Villiany will become legendary! President Bush will call on me to help defeat Saddam Hussein, but I will say NO! I am, after all, a Super Villian! By the way, I'm looking for some good henchmen - so if you know any, send them my way, ok? I'm offering full dental and a 401K.

Also, I need a nice Super Villian costume that doesn't emphasize my beer belly - no Spandex, no tights! If you bring me tights, I'll rub my feet on the carpet and shock the hell out of you!

Tremble before the awesome power of Super Electro-Guy (I'm also working on a good name - if you come up with one I like, I'll pass your name around the Super Villian circles, good names are in high demand - people pay top dollar these days)!!

No one is safe with Super Electro-Guy around!! Fear me!!!!!!!

there. I said it.| 12:30 PM

Wednesday, January 22, 2003  

Currey is right. Those guys can say it better than I ever could:

Father & Daughter

Paul Simon

If you leap awake
In the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second
You can't remember where you are
Just open your window
And follow your memory upstream
To the meadow in the mountain
Where we counted every falling star

I believe the light that shines on you
Will shine on you forever
And though I can't guarantee
There's nothing scary hiding under your bed
I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard
Of a Golden Retriever
And never leave till I leave you
With a sweet dream in your bed

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father who loved
His daughter more than I love you

Trust your intuition
It's just like goin fishin'
You cast your line and hope you get a bite
You don't need to waste your time
Worryin' about the market place
Trying to help the human race
Strugglin to survive its harshest hour

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father who loved
His daughter more than I love you

there. I said it.| 10:17 AM

Monday, January 20, 2003  

In honor of the 30th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, (and, owing to the fact that there is a two-week old baby in my house) here's a smack in the kisser for you:

The Mother
Gwendolyn Brooks

Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling mother-eye.

I have heard in the voices of the wind the voices of my dim killed
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games,
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your marriages, aches,
and your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?--
Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.

Believe me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I loved, I loved you

there. I said it.| 1:56 PM

Sunday, January 19, 2003  

Sometimes I question the existence of God.

But, sometimes, on days like today, I am absolutely certain that He exists. I know this for four reasons:

1) My son is the most intelligent three-and-a-half-year-old on the planet.

2) I had Manwiches for supper.

3) I preached at church and I didn't flub it up too terribly badly.

4) TV Land is now showing "Head of the Class" reruns.

*Addendum* - I have begun to question again, now that the Bucs are in the Super Bowl.

there. I said it.| 6:28 PM

my boy

my girl

My Wish List
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