Wednesday, February 26, 2003  

A few observations from the Saddam Hussein interview:

  • Saddam smiled and nodded at all the right times while Dan was talking . . . I'm just sayin' . . . Yup. He speaks a "little" English. Right.
  • The Iraqi word for "Yes" sounds exactly like the English word for "No."
  • Saddam talks like a drunk frat boy - he consistently refers to himself and others in the third person. "Saddam loves Dan Rather! Does Dan Rather love Saddam?"
  • Saddam's revisionist history sounds like it was written by The Daily Show. "The Iraqi Army was not defeated in the first war. We withdrew from Kuwait on our own! In fact, we won that war! Actually, I am the true President of the United States! Furthermore, I am George W. Bush's real father!"
  • Saddam talks about the Presidents Bush like they're members of the Trinity - Bush the Father, Bush the Son, Bush the Holy Spirit.
  • Funny anecdotes for mass murdering dictators? Not really that funny. "When Bush the Father was in office, I called him President Bush. When he left office, I called him Mr. Bush." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • Somehow, Dan got all the way through the interview without asking one hard question. Come on, you'd think he would have at least lucked into one! I mean the guy's killed millions of people. How do you not ask about that? Sean Hannity would have ripped the guy a new a-hole. I mean that literally - he might really have jumped across the table.

But, hands down, my favorite part of the interview was when Dan told the story of how he and his producer got to the interview. "We were picked up in a car with curtained windows . . . The driver drove one way, then another, then back the first way . . . We were dropped off at a house and then picked up by another car . . . We drove around some more . . . Then they took us to the Royal Palace that I recognized because I had been there a month ago." Way to go, Iraqis. Next time, get somebody from my fraternity to drive the guy around.

there. I said it.| 8:36 PM

Tuesday, February 25, 2003  

Theoretically, I understand that there are people out there who have no problem taking something good and pure and smearing fecal matter all over it. But still, when I see it there, on TV, it breaks my heart.

I was enjoying another wonderful re-run of Law and Order on TNT tonight (I only get two or three of those a day, you now), when a commercial for one of the finest examples of dreck ever to grace the Silver Screen came on. It seems that Girl, Interrupted, that waste of 2 hours that I will never get back, is going to be on television. But the truly great tragedy here is that, over the commercial, they played Smile, by The Jayhawks. Two things: First - the theme of that song has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE! Even completely disregarding the quality of the movie, the song doesn't come close to fitting. Second - Now, every time I hear the song, I'm gonna think of that miserable piece of pap.

Forget Saddam Hussein; let's bomb the snot out of the guy/girl that produced that commercial.

At least The Jayhawks get a check out of it.

there. I said it.| 9:37 PM

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