Creed

I believe that Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, died to save us from eternal separation from Him.

I believe that if Jesus were alive today, he’d be a Republican.

I believe that wheat bread is evil.

I believe that the bane of American culture is not Reality TV, it’s 24-Hour News Channels.

I believe that kids should be hugged tight, and spanked hard.

I believe that scrambled egg sandwiches (on white, of course) taste better at midnight.

I believe that racial profiling can be a really good thing.

I believe that the Coen Brothers are the best writers and directors around (apologies to Mr. Spielberg).

I believe that God wants us to eat meat, and He wants us to enjoy it.

I believe that Trivial Pursuit is the greatest board game on the planet.

I believe that Suzy Kolber is reason enough to watch football.

I believe that there’s a special place in Hell for men who beat their wives and for parents who beat their kids.

I believe that any song played on mainstream country radio sucks by definition.

I believe Mark Currey is the best worship leader I’ve ever seen.

I believe that the South is better.

I believe that the vast majority of politicians are insincere bastards.

I believe that The Andy Griffith Show and The Cosby Show are the most perfect sitcoms ever.

And . . .

I believe that Pete Rose should be banned from baseball and from the Hall of Fame forever.

My good buddy Myles has given an assignment to me (as well as the rest of his gaggle of friends). Here it is: in the spirit of High Fidelity, we are to compose Top Five Lists for any sort of obscure topic we can think of. So, I pass this assignment on to you. Here are my first two lists:



The Top Five Movies that Make Me Remember That Movie-Making Is an Art, Not Just a Job

5. Quills
4. Cool Hand Luke
3. The Graduate
2. Donnie Darko
1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest



Top Five Fast Food Dishes

5. The McRib
4. The Steak Sandwich from Sonic (the old one, not the new one on texas toast)
3. The Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's
2. The Whopper
1. Grilled Stuft Burrito (Beef, of course) from Taco Bell


Now y'all give me some!

Here's an excellent review of The Passion by, get this, someone WHO HAS ACTUALLY SEEN THE MOVIE! Novel concept.

Props to Cal Thomas.

A letter to the editor of The New York Times:

To the Editor:

Re "Months Before Debut, Movie on Death of Jesus Causes Stir" (front page, Aug. 2):

Why is it that free speechers will defend the publicly financed exhibit of a religious image in urine, but not a privately financed controversial movie on the death of Christ? If they object to the movie, they don't have to watch it.
THOMAS CROWLEY
Chapel Hill, N.C., Aug. 2, 2003

'Nuff said.